Tuesday, March 15, 2005

 

The Only Constant

Met up with a friend of mine some days ago. She was all smiles when I met her. Curious I asked, "What's new?" (I wish I hadn't!!!). Her face lost her smile after my fruitless attempts at guessing! Miffed she said,"Didn't you notice my new hairstyle?"

Since when did a trim amount to a 'change' of hairstyle? Of course I didn't tell her that. Rather replied, "Sorry. I was in my own world. But you look good!" That took care of it. Flattery can do wonders at times!! We or rather I unwillingly caught up on the latest gossip my dear friend had to offer. I bid adieu after a thoroughly precious waste of time.

I was getting late for an appointment with my doctor cum (G)astrologer. His predictions are purely based on my food intake. Boy! Is he right most of the times or what!!

I had to catch a rick to reach the clinic. I told the autowallah to take the shortcut but he said,"Madhum, pandu logon (traffic police) ne, no-yentry zhone bana daala hai." When did that 'change'? I reached my destination after shelling out more than half of what I used to pay before! Woes of an unemployed! After hearing (not listening) to what the doc had to say, I made a quick exit and decided to walk home...

I noticed then that the building I used to stay in previously had been brought down and in place of that a hotel was being constructed. I wondered, what would happen to the memories? Will they too be built upon? I had mixed feelings about that.

How much has changed? A lot. I have. Everyone and everything around me has. It hasn't stopped and it never will. Nothing is permanent only change. But is this change justified? I am forced to ask this question to you and myself.

Is it justified that alertness leads to plain ignorance and cold apathy when someone needs your help? Like in the case of the college going girl who confronted a jerk passing lewd remarks at her. Only to be hit by him and our "bhartiya naaris" at the station did nothing to help. Instead they said that it was the girl's fault because she stood up againgst him rather than shutting her mouth and not inviting trouble!! Opposing injustice is against our "sanskaars"!

Suit yourself I say. Don't regret the consequences later when it happens to you or your sister or daughter. As long as it does not happen to me why bother? As simple as that isn't it?

Is it justified that a government in the name of progress brings about 'change' at the cost of razing dwellings of the poor? Just to make Mumbai into a replica of another city? So much for originality! I thought plagiarism was strictly a Bollywood domain!

Change is an essential characteristic of Mother Nature too. She is tired of the same boring routine of limited seasons. So why not extend the snowfalls in Jammu and Kashmir at the cost of few hundred lives? Of course there is global warming to be blamed and guess what? There is no Mother Nature involved in it!! Just our need to 'change' to more comfortable lifestyles. So what if the ozone layer gets wiped out? Is all this metamorphosis justified?

Change is the only constant... at the cost of humanity. Do we really need this monotonous changing existence?

Think about it...




P.S: For Amma. Girl you know why I wasn't able to write this earlier.

Doedoe.

 

Mea Culpa

You sat there, not meeting my eyes. I knew long before, what was coming. Don't take my silence for granted. I know much more than you can lie about.

I could not help smiling at you and the state that you were in. Smiling, so that I could control my tears. And to think that people smile 'cause they are happy. Never thought that emotions could change sides too. So much for politics of a relationship!

You said... you said many things, (always caught in the moment) that it was no one's fault particularly not mine. I could only manage a sneer. All of it sounded like a conversation out of a movie. Damn! They do have a real life touch to them after all, those multicrore-waste-of-reel-flicks!

It took you thirty minutes or perhaps more to finish a cup of filter coffee or was it just time dragging itself? Perhaps it knew this was the last time we would ever meet. I guess the coffee to have tasted bitter, especially on that day. I know you like your coffee with extra sugar in it. But I was glad it tasted so, if it had tasted bitter at all. Or was it you who was finding it hard to swallow?

We walked it out to the station. Your hand brushing mine occasionally. I fought the urge to hold your hand in mine, like we once used to... some days back. Funny, how every thing changes with a blink of an eye...

Love was a prostitute that day. Too cheap and too expensive.

We went our separate ways. Wanted to hug you but thought better of it. I guess I should have. Does not matter anymore. Never hugged anyone again.

For the first time I liked travelling at rush hour, with lots of high-pitched noises surrounding me. No one noticed. No one bothered. Thank God for jam-packed mercies.(Read virar locals). I wished the travel would have been longer than the usual one and a half hour but the railways were on time that rainy day. Good. At least somewhere, some place the 'timing' was right.

Reached home. Settled down after a quick shower and change of clothes. Somehow, I needed to wash away your touch, but it lingered. I hated it. It was all so surreal but then reality sometimes does camouflage itself. Fool that I am, I hoped against hope. I was not granted my wish. Only separation befriended me as a substitute for togetherness.

I slowly moved on with my life and I guess you did too. No there is no place for anyone in my life right now. Won't be for a long time to come. There is a nous why I am not looking back. I made a mistake, which I don't regret nor am proud of. I was in love. Love is a swear-word. Abused and cliched. I wish it were not used quite so often. Used only sparingly like an expensive fragrance or like a piece of bread, the only one left to survive on for the rest of the day...

Next time I shall remember to not repeat the mistake. To not fall in love...


Doedoe.

 

Another One Bites The Dust



Better late than never! Gosh! I never thought, that I am gonna take such a drastic step and begin something as worthless as blogging!!
For all you know and don't know me: Me Doedoe. I am still struggling to become a "graduate". Hope that comes true in October. Pray for me. PPPllleeeeaaaaaassseeee!
Okay let's just forget about academics shall we? Starting with the basics: I am a happy-go-lucky 21yr "old". My interests in life are varied. When it comes to music, I am partial to rock music, kishoreda and hemant kumar's soulful melodies. Otherwise, anything goes. That includes- Mom dropping 'bartans' in the kitchen while I am concentrating on Karl Marx's theories! And, Oh yeah! When I really need a good sleep, Gappu (that's mah sister) provides me with free soundtracks of her snoring!! Life is Beautiful!
I am not much of a writer but I just have to pen down my thoughts, at times. Otherwise it gets really frustrating.
I like to read. Fiction does not move me. Reality does. Apart from a few exceptions I do not enjoy reading fiction.
When it comes to movies, I hate watching "weepy productions" a la Yash Raj Films and the likes. The very fact that the duration of a Bollywood flick gives me a "numb-ass syndrome" is enough for me to abstain from it!! Action films, thrillers, sci-fi, animation, comedies are my type of viewing provided that they don't cross the time limit of two and a half hours!!
Arrey! Main thing I forgot. FOOD!! I absolutely live to eat. One of the reasons why I am not asked out often! I enjoy "pigging out". That reminds me... There is this quaint little food joint at Colaba called Cafe Churchill; there's a dish named 'Pig's Delight' on the menu!! {Is Lent over yet?!!??}
As a person, I am 'pretty' much down-to-earth. But if I lose my cool then its pure hell! I am frank. I will tell it like it is with no qualms.
Okay, enough of me! It is time now for some acknowledgements to be made that helped me take my first step into blogworld!
Alphabetically... Saves me the trouble to answer waste-of-time questions like "why didn't you put my name first?" If only people would grow up! Never mind. Where was I?
Thanks a lot: Amma, Andy, Bura Dost, Debu, Dayan, Dee, Flow, Gappu, Nikhil, Reiya, Russ, T1, T2, Uma, Umat, Viggi, Will and of course My-oh-so-beloved-Professors-that-I-can-choke-your-necks!! And People I missed out on. Thanks. Hope to continue... Blogging that is!

Love and Laughter Always,
Doedoe.

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